The Day My Son Cried Over a Broken Crayon: What It Taught Me About Emotional Intelligence

I still remember the moment like it happened yesterday. My son was four, sitting at our kitchen table with his favorite coloring book. He reached for a bright red crayon—his newly-proclaimed favorite color—and it snapped clean in half as he pressed it to the page. He looked at it for a second, blinked, and then completely fell apart. We're talking full-body sobs, tears dripping onto the page, even yelling at the crayons like they'd betrayed him.

At first, I almost laughed. It’s just a crayon, right? But something told me to pause. This wasn't about wax and paper. It was about something deeper.

That moment was the beginning of my deeper journey into emotional intelligence—not just for my son, but for me, too.

• Lesson #1: Emotions Are Never "Just About the Crayon"

   Kids experience the world in extremes. A broken crayon can symbolize disappointment, loss of control, or feeling overwhelmed. When adults dismiss the emotion (“It’s not a big deal”), kids learn their feelings are wrong or too much.
  

• Lesson #2: Pause Before You Fix

  I wanted to fix it. Offer another crayon. Tape it back together. But instead, I sat next to him and said, “That red crayon was your favorite. It’s really frustrating when things break.” And I watched his shoulders drop a little. Being seen helped more than a replacement ever could.
  

• Lesson #3: Validation is a Skill (and a Gift)

  When I started validating his small feelings, I noticed he became more open about the big ones. A few weeks later, he told me he was “a little scared” about starting preschool. That was huge. And it all started with a broken crayon.

Takeaways for Parents and Teachers:

• Don’t rush to “make it better.” First, make it understood.
  

• Practice emotional labeling out loud: “That sounds disappointing,” or “It looks like you’re feeling really let down.”
  

• Create a culture where small feelings matter. They build trust for the big stuff later.

This week, try narrating and validating one small moment that might otherwise seem trivial. Whether it’s spilled milk or a lost toy, treat it like the broken crayon moment. You’ll be amazed at what that simple shift can do for your connection—and their emotional growth.