Your friend or relative has a child that is fighting an illness or recovering from an injury. You know they are overwhelmed and stressed out, and of course you want to help. But what is the best way to do that? Maybe you keep asking if they need anything and they keep saying that they are fine – even though you know they are not. Here are some suggestions for the best ways to help, and some things to avoid.

Do not offer vague help. Caregivers have so much going through their heads and it can be hard to sort through what they need in the moment, and some caregivers might be hesitant to ask for help if they think they might be a burden. “call me if you need anything” and “Let me know what I can do” are sweet sentiments but being more specific can be much more helpful.

Parents of sick children often hide their feelings in front of their spouses and children. Giving them a place to be open and honest about how the situation is affecting them can be a tremendous release for them. Be supportive, and let your friend vent their feelings without trying to change the subject or shift the mood. Validate what they are going through. However, it is important to keep in mind that not everyone processes their feelings through venting and not everyone will want to talk to you about what is going on or how they feel. Don’t pressure them to talk, instead just let them know if they ever do want to, you’re there for them (even if being there for them means not being there- some people just want to be alone).

We've gone over what to say and how to listen, but what else can you do to help out your loved one? For some people, it is the mundane tasks that can become overwhelming when also taking care of an ill child. Families might struggle with remembering to water their plants or not have the time to drive siblings to activities. In fact, sometimes the best help can be to relieve families from the pressures of their daily chores.